When Your Teen is Struggling with Friendship Drama (It’s Not “Just Drama”)

You hear it in the car after school.
You hear it through tears at bedtime.
You hear it in that one dramatic sentence:
“They’re being so mean.”

And maybe your first instinct is to reassure, fix, or dismiss. “It’ll blow over.”
But here’s the truth:

What we often call "drama" is actually real emotional pain.
It’s shame. Rejection sensitivity. Identity confusion.
It’s loneliness and dysregulation in a body that hasn’t finished growing yet.

So what can you do?

1. Take it seriously.

Even if the issue sounds minor or repetitive. Even if you’ve heard the same story three times this week. To your teen, this feels huge—because it is huge in their world. You don’t have to panic. But you do have to listen.

2. Be a steady presence.

You don’t have to fix the problem. You just have to show up.
Try saying:

• “Want to vent or want help?”

• “That sounds rough. I’m here.”

• “You don’t have to explain it perfectly.”

When you stay calm and grounded, they get to borrow your nervous system until theirs settles.

3. If they want support, ask curious questions:

Not interrogation. Just meaning-making.

• “What part of this hurt the most?”

• “Did you feel caught in the middle?”

• “What do you wish you could say to them?”

Your role isn’t to solve it, it’s to help them understand themselves better.

Therapy can support this too.

If your teen is overwhelmed, shut down, or stuck in loops that feel impossible to break, therapy offers a soft place to land.
We help teens:

• Name complex emotions

• Rebuild self-trust after rupture

• Practice healthy boundaries and repairs

• Explore how friendships impact their sense of worth

• Work through patterns with less shame

Because “they’re being so mean” is rarely just about drama. It's about safety, identity, and the terrifying process of learning who you are in the mess of relationships.

And they don’t have to do it alone.