What I Wish I Knew About Self-Worth at 16
These are the things we all struggled with, but no one taught us. As a parent, you might remember and relate to many of these statements. If you are a teen reading this, know that it was written with you in mind. Adults can recall these lessons we wish we had been taught, now is your chance to learn these earlier.
#1 Your Worth ≠ Your Grades
You are so much more than just an ‘A+’ on your report card, more than the highest score on a standardized test. You are also creative and fun, and your passions are important to who you are. At the moment, grades can feel incredibly important, especially as you prepare for your next steps beyond high school. I’m not saying they don’t matter at all, but what I am saying is that your best effort is what matters most. No one is meant to be good at everything, as long as you are learning, you are growing.
#2 Popularity is Different than Happiness
Friends are super important! They are what get most of us through the long school days, the difficult practice, the neverending due dates…. However, being popular is less important than you might think. It’s nearly impossible to be liked by everyone, but what is possible is to be surrounded by people you like. Popularity does not always offer happiness, and sometimes it can even feel isolating to have so many people like you (or pretend to) that you are unsure who your friends really are. So show up as your authentic self, you will find the right crew.
#3 You Do Not Have to Earn Love
This is a big one for many of us! Adults reading this may immediately think of specific friendships or their early years of dating experiences and feeling that they needed to be a certain way, dress to impress, or hold back in order to be loved by the people around them. Love is not meant to be earned by “behaving.” Love comes naturally. Similar to the popularity bit, the right people are going to show up, support you, and love you. If you don’t expect someone to earn your love, you shouldn’t expect to have to earn someone else's.
#4 Saying “No” is a Complete Sentence
Consent is far beyond just sexual encounters and peer pressure. You are allowed to want a night in and not go out with your friends, even on a Saturday! If you want to set time aside for yourself and you tell your friends that your phone is going DND (“do not disturb” for us adults to keep up), your friends won’t get mad. You have the right to set boundaries, real friends are going to respect them.
#5 Everyone is Insecure (Yeah, Even Them)
You know that one person in school you see and you just know they have it all together? Well… they don’t. Even the most confident looking people have their insecurities and their struggles that you cannot see. It could be assuming that people are always looking at that scar on your chin, or that they notice your sweater is a hand-me-down, maybe even feeling awkward for being too tall, too short, having messy hair, forgetting the homework… whatever it might be! Everyone has their insecurities and everyone is going through their own struggles.
Now, It’s Your Turn
What can you do to take these lessons and share them?
What do you know about your self-worth?
Who needs to hear (or read) these lessons?
Still Struggling? I’m Here to Help
I currently am accepting telehealth clients within the state of Michigan. I specialize in working with teens and parents through these difficult and confusing times of life to help normalize and empathize with whatever might be going on. It’s a stressful time, you deserve support.
